Are We Desperate or Just Addicted?

24 June 2026 – 11:00 am

I'm sitting on the couch, keeping an eye on my kid eating roti canai telur while watching her favourite series "Puffin Rock". Turned on my laptop just to get down a thought that's been looping in my head lately.

Last night, I couldn't sleep because of my "unconscious behavior" decided that drinking coffee in the evening was a great idea. At around 3:00 am, while lying in bed and regretting every life decision that led to that cup of coffee, I did what most modern humans do. 

Scrolling Tiktok. 

Before I knew it, I had travelled through cooking videos, crafting videos, people arguing in comment sections and somehow ended up watching an old grandmother reciting the Quran on Tiktok Live. She looked to be in her 70s, maybe a little older.

Then I noticed something. 

People were going live not in the evening. Not during lunch break. Not even at midnight.  I'm talking about 3:00 am, 4:00 am and even 5:00 am before Subuh. 

Some were singing, some were chasing ghost, some were selling products, some were simply sitting there doing nothing and just waiting for viewers to join. A few looked half asleep themselves and it made me wonder.. 

Are we desperate, or are we just addicted ? 

Maybe "desperate" sounds a bit harsh. After all, some people are genuinely trying to make a living. Maybe they're chasing for commissions, building an audience or hoping tonight will be the night their account finally takes off. I understand that. But at the same time, I couldn't help asking myself whether we are slowly becoming addicted to being seen. 

Every notifications feels like a small reward. A new follower, a new comment, a few more viewers joining the live. It's like a slot machine that occasionally pays out just enough to keep us pulling the lever and honestly i don't think it's only them. 

I was literally lying in bed at 3:00 am watching strangers talk to strangers while knowing full well I should have been sleeping. What was I looking for? Entertainment? Something Interesting? or was I simply refreshing my brain with endless tiny doses of stimulation? 

Maybe we are all participating in the same thing, just from different sides of the screen. One person is staying awake hoping people will watch, and another person is staying awake because they can't stop watching. And somewhere in the middle, both are sacrificing sleep and the funny part is that everyone probably had the same thought, "Just five more minutes.".

Maybe the answer isn't desperation or addiction. Maybe it's simply that social media has become the place where people go when they don't want to be alone. 

But ... hmm reciting the Quran at 3:00 am on Tiktok live was definitely 'something'. 

Before that, I accidentally joined a live stream of a man chasing ghosts. Everything was fine until I heard the thing 'mengilai' in the distance. Arghhhh... whyyy? Imagine hearing that through earphones at 2 a.m.

I'm curious.

Have you ever had the same thought while scrolling late at night?

Let me know. I'd love to hear your thoughts.

That's all.

Thanks for reading.